Gmail Motion

Praise the Lord this turned out to be an April fools joke! In my defense I first saw it after midnight in Greece so technically it was the 2nd of April. Anyway I'm still leaving this post up as it was kind of funny :D The whole concept made me laugh! Good job Google, this was a great joke! :D

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OK so this made me laugh!

I was browsing through gmail, just checking different things out and looking for what other services they're coming up with, when I came across Gmail Motion.

According to some people the keyboard and mouse are slowly becoming things of the past, which I'm not exactly sure how that's going to happen (as one needs an input device of some sort - unless it becomes totally controlled by voice or like the iPad your screen includes the keyboard) but Google has decided to be ready for that "inevitable" day. As a result they have come up with a "brilliant" idea - cough, cough... Gmail Motion!

Much like the Wii, it's your body that writes the email... excuse me?! I saw the video of all the various motions they've come up with and well... - at the risk of sounding like a TOTAL geek - it reminded me a lot of the Ginyu Force pose in the Dragon Ball Z series:

It's hilarious!

Following is the chart Google published regarding all the poses available to "write" your emails:

If you compare the two images you will see similarities.

So according to this new technology all our future emails will be danced in front of the computer, supposedly saving us time and keeping us active during office hours.... Well if that's the only option I'd rather leave a voice mail! If talking to the computer is considered too loud and disruptive for the other people in the office what do you think jumping and waving your arms in front of your computer will do to our coworkers' concentrations??? o.O

Can I please join a gym and keep the keyboard??? Please?

A weekend of disasters

I'm part of the Morning Star crew. I go up on weekends to take care of teams that want to come for a night or two on board. This includes cooking and taking care of the basic needs.

This time was no different except that our team was a group of 20 teenagers and Neil, their youth group leader. Piece of cake, right? Except for one little detail... the boat is made to cater to groups no bigger than 16 people... including the crew. In this instance we had 24 people including crew... as you can imagine that might create certain... challenges. The first is getting such a large team up to the boat. Everything was organized. We were going to load everybody up into three vans. Jed was supposed to drive a van we've lovingly dubbed the 'Brown Bomber' while I was supposed to drive HM's van and Neil would drive his. So far so good...

The day started off great. I got all my work done and left the office in good time to make it to the Bible School by 17:00, which was our meeting point. As I drove into the parking lot I noticed that the HM van was nowhere to be seen. This didn't worry me at first as the 'Brown Bomber' was there and no Jed so I just assumed that Jed was on his way with the other van. 17:15 and Jed was still not there. As I was about to call him one of the kids told me that he was inside. Now I was worried. Jed came out and looked utterly bewildered at the fact that I didn't have the HM van o.O uuuuhhhh What?!?!?! Since Andrew was supposed to have made sure the van was there, I called him. When I told him what was going on all I could hear was silence and then an "Oh shoot!" A few phone calls later we found out that the van was actually at Alex's. So we piled everybody into the two available vans and my car and drove up there. We switched cars and everything was great again.

We all left in convoy, Neil at the head followed by Jed and then me. At a t-junction Neil turned left but Jed having arrived moments later turned right! And since I was following Jed I turned right. As we arrived at the bottom of a hill Jed called me and told me he had no idea where Neil was and which way to go. So we called Neil and found out that he was back at Alex's and waiting for us there! He'd realized he lost us and turned back. Well, we had a slight detour to make as the street we were on didn't allow for any left- or U-turns. We were forced to drive down a ways before we could turn back. 15min later we got back to Alex's. At this point we were an hour behind schedule, not great since we like being on time. We drove down some back roads and picked up another kid at a fuel station. Finally we were on the road! An hour and a half behind schedule! Oh well.

We got to the boat and while Andrew and Jed were getting the team settled I started cooking. Jed had done the shopping and told me that I was to make hot dogs and french fries... except he had forgotten the fries. No problem! We had a whole bunch of instant mash potatoes on board and so I just planned on cooking that instead. As I was poring the powder into the boiling water I noticed something crawling around in it. There were bugs in our instant mash!!! Shoot! That went overboard! Upon inquiry Jed told me that there wasn't supposed to be any salad with this meal. So I had no salad, no fries, no mashed potatoes and 20 hungry teenagers with only two hot dogs per person. Andrew and I looked at each other and said, 'pop corn!' So that's what we did. We served hot dogs with pop corn. The kids had a field day with it. They were putting them in their buns and just really enjoyed themselves. Few! Saved. After dinner, when I finally got to my stuff and found the menu I realized that I was supposed to have made a salad with the meal!!!! Which, as Andrew said, would have made it a meal! What else could go wrong???

After dinner the team decided to go for a swim! It was 1 am, freezing cold outside, in the middle of November! They were crazy!!! Well if Neil said it was fine, it was fine with us. I boiled some water so that the kids could at least rinse off with something warm. As I was getting the bucket ready I accidentally pored boiling water on my hand... AAAHHH! The rest of my evening was spent with my hand in a bucket of cold water. Later that evening as I was trying to fall asleep my hand felt like it was on fire, quite literally. I tossed and turned till 4:30 trying to 'forget' about my hand. By the end, in total desperation and in an attempt to forget the burning sensation, I started playing video games on my cell phone. Hallelujah it worked. I finally fell asleep at around 4:45.

Breakfast was perfect. We compensated beautifully for the previous night's dinner. Neil led us in devotions and then I got started on lunch. I must admit that I'd never cooked for such a large team on board before. Cooking spaghetti for 24 people in a small kitchen is not as easy as it sounds.... I burned the pasta. Who burns pasta?!?!?! For crying out loud! Praise the Lord we had a second team coming the next day and Jed had done shopping for both teams at the same time. I grabbed the next day's pasta and cooked that instead... in two pots. Needless to say lunch was an hour late. LOL! Praise the Lord, this was the last thing that went wrong as we left an hour later... LOL

So we all messed up at some point that weekend but as a team we worked great together and kept things together. We had a blast and in the end we have a great story to tell! :D If you actually read the entire story, I'm impressed and hope you enjoyed it :o)

A normal visit to the chiropractor.... or is it?

Ok so, I never realize how rich my life truly is until I start explaining it to a total stranger. Around HM'ers we all know each other, we come from various places and facilitate the Sports Camps, the Morning Star, Worship Events, etc.... we travel and basically work for the Kingdom.... and then they all know that I'm crazy and that I do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. BUT explaining all that to a person who's never met you before might be slightly overwhelming... slightly. So tonight I went to see a chiropractor. I dislocated my shoulder in August while wrestling with the guys on the barge... I know, I know but it was fun... and basically wanted him to set it right again. Plus I wanted him to have a look at my ankle from when I hurt in South Africa and my wrist - this is where things get complicated. So here I am explaining all my cases; I dislocated my shoulder for the first time while swimming as a child but again during a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class as an adult (at this point the guy snickers an okey - realizing, I think, for the first time what kind of a patient I am...) where another chiropractor set it back in its place. My ankle, I hurt badly during BJJ practice, I went to see another chiropractor, while in South Africa and he set it back in place. His specialty was ankles so I know he did a good job, I just want you to check it and see how it's doing. Now my wrist I've had chronic problems with. I used to get carpal tunnel syndrome really bad as a kid but my chiropractor in France - at this point I look up realizing what I've just said and sheepishly say "yeah I travel quite a bit" and then keep on going - told me that it was linked to my elbows. At this point the doctor (who by the way was raised in America so speaks perfect English) asks me where I'm from because he can't place my accent! Oh boy!!!! Well my mom is French, my dad is English and I was raised in Iceland.......... and I wait for it........... ICELAND! What is it like there? The classic question... if I had a cent for every time anybody asked me that question I could fly first class everywhere! So nicely I smile and give him the load down on Iceland... beautiful, no, no, there truly is no ice, quite barren landscape and definitely worth the visit....  we talk about Björk and then move on. As he's putting my body back together he asks me when I get pain in my shoulder - to which I reply.... well when I was hoisting the sail - stop - .... oh yeah I sail..... LOL oh boy! The poor guy can only say, why am I not surprised! LOL anyway so we move on to my elbow and he asks how I hurt my elbows to which he answers the question himself... wait was it while you were running away from the bulls in Spain??? LOL No, but probably from Tennis or working with the horses..... LOL by the end of the session he asking me if a fly quite a bit and asks if I might not be a pilot by any chance... LOL at least he had a good sense of humor about it all :D (If he only knew the rest...)

To us it's everyday life. It's how we've grown up. It's our pasts and our present. It's who we are. It's mundane. To everybody else... it's an amazing life. I guess it's moments like these where I realize that we truly do live amazing lives. That our lives aren't necessarily ordinary, even though to us they do feel like it because that's what we know.

For all of this I simply want to say; thank you Lord for having blessed me so richly! :o)

Cockroach Trouble

OK so can I say that I absolutely hate cockroaches??? I know that hate is a strong word but what can I say... if I don't hate them then I really, really, really, really seriously dislike them.

OK so here I am, in all my innocence, about to go to bed. It's late like 2:30 in the morning, its been a long day and all I want to do is go to bed. I walk into my kitchen, which is right by my bed, to find a cockroach on my counter. Those things, unfortunately but for good cause (since most people seriously dislike them), are fearful creatures. In the 3 seconds it takes me to bend down and get my very efficient cockroach spray, its crawled under my kitchen cupboard! In one of only two cracks between my floor and the cupboard. Well, with all my haste, I start spraying profusely under the cupboard hoping, in vain I might add since the space under there, once under, is quite vast, to kill it with my spray. Semi satisfied (but more hopeful) I continue getting ready for bed. Walking through the kitchen a second time, I see my little enemy on the other side of the kitchen by the second crack between the cupboard and floor. Again by the time I start spraying it, the stupid thing has escaped under the cupboard again! Did I ever mention that those things are FAST! I keep on spraying in the crack, again hoping to kill it. I then quickly grab two towels and stuff them in those two cracks... stupid I know since cockroaches have an uncanny way of getting places they're not supposed to but hey in my defense it like 2:45 at this point. I was also hoping the fumes would get trapped and kill it. By this time it's like 2:50 and I really want to go to bed, so reluctantly, not knowing what else to do, I go to bed. OK so here I am, lying in bed, trying to fall asleep but anything that brushes up against my skin, which is quite frequent as I have long hair and a FAN blowing on me, gets me up so fast that Lucky Luke would be ashamed of his speed! Just for the record I've woken up with a cockroach in my bed before, so this is not just paranoia going on here! Ugh! For the next 15 min this show of acrobats keeps on going and I'm just praying "Please God just let me fall asleep!" by the end my prayer is "Lord I'd feel so much better knowing that I've killed the thing!" I finally get up to go to the bathroom and what do I see trapped in my bathtub? The cockroach! Once it's in there it can't crawl out so I'm thanking the Lord as I'm spraying this thing to DEATH! As I crawl back into bed, this time satisfied, a question creeps into my mind... was that the one I tried to get earlier or a second one?

Sure enough, the next day I wake up and what do I see lying dead on my kitchen floor... another cockroach! All I have to say is ignorance is bliss!

UPDATE: The following evening I found a third cockroach!!! This time INSIDE my cupboard.... with all my CLEAN plates and cups I might add.... I have now proceeded to re-clean all my previously clean plates and glasses as well inside the cupboard itself... a task I thoroughly enjoy.............. not!

Oh well, c'est la vie! :o)

Avatar

I’ve just come back from watching Avatar and… what can I say?
I am ashamed of the human race… I don’t know if you realize it but this story is actually based on true events. Did anybody else wake up during the beginning of the movie and go “Oh my goodness, Pocahontas!” ? (and actually, by the end, the Matrix came to mind too… for obvious reasons.)

Think about it, instead of the white man going to America for gold, it was mankind that went to another planet for a rock of great value… $20 million per kg. In both stories we encounter the locals, in both stories we consider them to be savages, in both stories a battle happens between the two races and in both stories our guy befriends and falls in love with the local girl who happens to be the chief’s daughter. It would be a beautiful story if it weren’t for the underlying theme… greed. At what lengths do we, as humans, go for money? The love of money is the root of all evil! We will destroy entire racial groups, nations, cultures… ecosystems, when it benefits us; the ugly truth of our fallen nature. We are such egocentric creatures. Life today seems to be all about me and what I can get out of you. I don’t care what happens to you as long as I get my due. With an attitude like that we throw out all that is holy and pure. With an attitude like that we abort babies. With an attitude like that who needs morals? They’re all relative anyway. With an attitude like that who needs God? It’s such a sad reality that we live in.

Another underlying theme, that kind of bothered me more than the fallen state of the human race, was how the movie portrayed animism as something beautiful. Contrasted with the ugliness of greed and hate, animism became something pure and beautiful and something to be desired, when in fact it really isn’t. In case you don’t know, animism is “the attribution of a soul to plants, inanimate objects, and natural phenomena; the belief in a supernatural power that organizes and animates the material universe.” Every tree, plant, animal, rock has a life, has a spirit and must be respected as such. This creates idolatry as they start to worship these same objects. In the movie when they killed an animal, they gave it a rites of passage into the common pool of energy. Again when somebody died they “gave back” their “borrowed” energy to the common pool. This is nothing but a similar notion to the Buddhist and Hindu nirvana – a sort of energy pool where there is no suffering or sense of self. They believe you join in with a cloud of energy, the cosmos.

This whole worship of nature also came up through the notion of their goddess tree. Throughout history there have been two kinds of cosmic trees, both of which lie at the center of the earth. One acts as a vertical connection between heaven and earth, or the spiritual and physical worlds – a tree of knowledge of sorts. The other is the tree of life where the tree is the source of life that connects everything together. The tree in Avatar had both aspects in one, it contained all the memories of its people – the connection between the spirit world and physical world – the tree of knowledge, and it was also the tree of life as everything was connected to it. Tradition has it that the tree of life has its own supernatural guardians… well what happened in the movie? The tree, when it came under attack, brought forward all of its guardians in the forms of the animals from the forest. Also the tree was used in a rite of passage. Some cultures had a rite of passage where a symbolic death took place before the person would be “reborn” into a new status of life. It was often used for rulers. In Avatar, Jake underwent the symbolic death of his imperfect self… as he was crippled… passed through the tree of life and took possession of his new, perfect, self and became the leader of his new people.

The name Avatar, I believe, was the perfect name for the movie. Avatar has two main meanings. The first is “a manifestation of a deity or released soul in bodily form on earth; an incarnate divine teacher” and is chiefly associated with Hinduism. She was his teacher on practical things as well as on their divine “reality.” Also, this movie could be considered a teacher of sorts, as it is advocating for animism and New Age ideology. The second meaning of Avatar is a “moveable icon representing a person in cyberspace or virtual reality graphics” which is exactly what this movie was. A graphic virtual reality in space! Although, if you go back to the origins of the word Avatar, it comes from Sanskrit; “avatara ‘decent,’ from ava ‘down’ + tar- ‘to cross’” and we come back to our beloved Jesus and the cross :o)

So, all in all, as beautiful, graphically that is, as the movie was, and as true as it was in one sense, the ugliness of greed and the state of the human race, it had a lot of spiritual implications. Again, as believers we need to be aware of those things and the consequences they can have on us in the physical realm. There have been reports of people becoming depressed and even committing suicide as a result of watching this movie. The claim is that these people get so depressed over the fact that they have to leave this beautiful world of Avatar and come back to the reality of our ordinary world. God’s creation isn’t enough anymore. All I’m going to say about this is that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Please don’t think that I’m against the movie, I’m not. I thought it was brilliant! And I definitely want to go see it again. It’s a beautiful love story with a worthy cause of fighting for what is right. All I’m saying is that we need to be aware of the spiritual side of the movie and not take it at face value.

I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts on the movie!

Just for laughs!

I found this on the internet and... well, just read!

Funny car insurance claims
Here are some incredible, but true statements which all appeared on claim forms submitted to car insurance companies by policyholders who had been involved in car accidents.

Accidents with pedestrians

* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

* To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

* The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

* The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.

* I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

* I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

Car accidents

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

* I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

* I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

* As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

* My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

* I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

* I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

* Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

* I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

* In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

* The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.

* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

* The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

* I pulled in to the side of the rode because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

* The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

Who caused the car accident?

* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

* I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

* On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

* I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.

* The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.

* I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Dubai

Now, how do I describe Dubai? It is a modern city where every other building is a 5 star hotel and a tribute to what man can do. Their motto is; second to none. The man who is responsible for most of the development there said that everybody remembers the first man who climbed Mount Everest but no one remembers the second (actually I don't know the name of the first man who climbed Everest, but hey that's just me). As such they need to be at the forefront of everything so as not to be forgotten. Hence they have the tallest hotel in the world, the only 7 star hotel in the world, they have the tallest building in the world with the fastest elevators: a dashing 18m a second! Since they couldn’t have the first robot operated metro in the world they have the longest one. They also have some of the largest shopping malls in the world. One of them is actually the size of, no less than, 50 football fields! You get the idea. They need to have the biggest, the fastest and the best of everything. Dubai is a great place for people who want a luxurious 5-7 star vacation. It is the place to go if you want to do things, not the place to go if you want to see things. Dubai has no character. It is one of the most impersonal places I have ever been to. Don’t get me wrong, the people there are some of the friendliest that I have ever met, which is a stark contrast to the city itself, who is as cold as it is modern. I went on a hop-on, hop-off bus tour of the city and their entire commentary was about the different hotels, how many stars they have, what kind of attraction they offer, how tall they are and who designed them. There is no real soul to the city; it is all about business and luxury. It’s sad really because it truly is a beautiful place and I really enjoyed the contrast displayed in the city. On one side you have the turquoise blue sea with the most amazing palm trees and greenery while on the other you have the sandy planes of the desert; life vs. death; lush vs. barren. I know it’s a little morbid but the contrast really is fascinating. Anyway, I had the opportunity to go dune bashing while I was there. This consists of getting into a 4WD jeep and driving up and sliding down desert dunes. Let me tell you, I thought the car was going to tip over a couple of times. It was a LOT of fun! :o) After all the bashing was done we ended up in a Bedouin campsite… which is more artificial than the hotels… for a BBQ – which consisted of… shaved meat! LOL I left Greece to go to the U.A.E. and have gyro! Oh the irony, LOL.

The best part of what I did in Dubai was the old town. I wish I had gone there from the very beginning. If you ever go, do that first! There you finally feel like you’re in the Middle East. I heard the call to prayer, which previously I hadn’t heard, I saw their local gold and spice market, which is the real deal and finally saw the soul of Dubai. The contrast is interesting; on one side of Dubai you could be anywhere in the world, with it’s hotels and shopping malls, whereas on the other side you can really tell that this is the U.A.E.

Anyway, I had a great time in Dubai and really enjoyed seeing it. You have to go there at least once in your life.

Totally Brilliant

I found this on the internet as I was doing some research. I just thought it was a brilliant answer and so I wanted to share it here with everybody - enjoy!

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

LOL!!!!!! Like I said - BRILLIANT!!!!